Abdul Spadez "World inside of my Own"
Blog 1 - Word of the Week"
"Confusion"
Blog 1 - Word of the Week"
"Confusion"
At the ripe age of 22, It's safe to say that I'm at a crossroads. Normally the cliche a person would use here would be, "A Fork In the road", but in my case that would be too easy. When you're at a fork in the road, there's only two choices to worry about. . . left or right. That's it, it's very low key problem solving! It's not hard to find out the right choice for you in that situation. It's like choosing chocolate or vanilla. . . Paper or plastic . . . Pepsi or Coke. In a sense, one or the other, with the choices to small and mute to put too much thought into. But a crossroads. . . that's where reality, dreams, hopes, and your conscious become a cesspool and create a concoction of confusion.
With a crossroads, there are too many choices in a small time-span to find the right one. You can go north, south, east, west. . . northeast, southwest. . . and then there's the choice no one wants to make, but sometimes is the right one . . . GO BACK to where you started and forget the whole thing! Now that I've laid a groundwork, let me show you what I'm feeling at this present moment.
In my life, college student and aspiring rap artist, I live by the philosophy of "Pathe Mathos". It's Greek for, "knowledge comes through suffering". There isn't one artist or entertainer in our lifetime that had an easy journey to get where they are. So why should I be any different? I know it's not easy, and I think I've done okay so far. . . but when I compare myself to this guy's page, I get that sense of confusion I was talking about earlier: WIZ KHALIFA!!!
Don't get me wrong or think I'm becoming jealous, that is not the case here. . . It's not the fact that he's been featured in almost every famous music magazine in the world. . . it's not the fact that he's younger than me and has a huge fan-base. . . it's not even the fact that his song, "DAMN THING" is a mainstay on WAMO 106.7-FM's radio charts. . . it's the fact that he has the ANSWER! He has people that know how to get him from unknown, to well known. From a bedroom and notebook to sold out arenas and microphone. To reading about his favorite rappers, to being featured along side them. He has no CROSSROADS!
Me. . . I have plenty. I have a road that if I take it could lead me to become famous, wealthy, and living my dream. Then there's the road where I take it and end up like the Staind song, "Outside" looking in (music video here). There's a road where I go to get my dreams, and lose everyone I care about and lose all touch with reality. There's the road where when I'm done with college, I enter the workforce, do the 9-5, and watch someone on TV living my dream. So many roads, so little time to find out the correct choice. In other words, I'm confused. . . and being confused is the utmost worst feeling in the world when its the question you need answered the most.
So, in conclusion for this week. . . . will I find my answer for the journey I'm supposed to go down? Or am I supposed to pave a new road and make my own journey? Only time will tell I guess, but in the meantime, I better buy a compass.
In my life, college student and aspiring rap artist, I live by the philosophy of "Pathe Mathos". It's Greek for, "knowledge comes through suffering". There isn't one artist or entertainer in our lifetime that had an easy journey to get where they are. So why should I be any different? I know it's not easy, and I think I've done okay so far. . . but when I compare myself to this guy's page, I get that sense of confusion I was talking about earlier: WIZ KHALIFA!!!
Don't get me wrong or think I'm becoming jealous, that is not the case here. . . It's not the fact that he's been featured in almost every famous music magazine in the world. . . it's not the fact that he's younger than me and has a huge fan-base. . . it's not even the fact that his song, "DAMN THING" is a mainstay on WAMO 106.7-FM's radio charts. . . it's the fact that he has the ANSWER! He has people that know how to get him from unknown, to well known. From a bedroom and notebook to sold out arenas and microphone. To reading about his favorite rappers, to being featured along side them. He has no CROSSROADS!
Me. . . I have plenty. I have a road that if I take it could lead me to become famous, wealthy, and living my dream. Then there's the road where I take it and end up like the Staind song, "Outside" looking in (music video here). There's a road where I go to get my dreams, and lose everyone I care about and lose all touch with reality. There's the road where when I'm done with college, I enter the workforce, do the 9-5, and watch someone on TV living my dream. So many roads, so little time to find out the correct choice. In other words, I'm confused. . . and being confused is the utmost worst feeling in the world when its the question you need answered the most.
So, in conclusion for this week. . . . will I find my answer for the journey I'm supposed to go down? Or am I supposed to pave a new road and make my own journey? Only time will tell I guess, but in the meantime, I better buy a compass.
3 comments:
Graduation is a confusing time. Adults always remind you that now it's time to enter the REAL WORLD, as if you haven't quite lived yet ... or as if you haven't really suffered until you enter this real world. I don't know you, but my advice would be to follow your heart if it's a good one. If it's not, then that's where you should start! Good luck.
Hey, I really like your first blog. Where's another one?
Guess it was the Word of the Semester.
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